Cat (sitting outside the window opposite where I'm working): meow (rough translation: please let me in)
Me: [ignores cat] ...
Cat edges closer to the window, tries to make self look more appealing: meow (rough translation: I'm still here, waiting patiently to come in)
Me: [tries to stay engrossed in my work]…
Cat starts to look irritated: MEOW
Me: … but thinks “Piss off, cat”
Cat gets on hind legs and scratches at window
Me: … [puts fingers in ears and sings loudly]
Cat scratches at the window louder: MEOW (rough translation: are you DEAF?)
Cat stands up on hind legs, scratches and thumps window: MEEEOOOOOWWWWRRRRLLLLL (rough translation: FOR GODS’ SAKE, YOU STUPID HUMAN, LET ME IN!)
Me: [waves to cat through window]
Eventually, sick of the constant whining and noise, I go and let the cat in but only after I’ve kept her waiting a few minutes longer while I smiled and waved at her through the window.
Cat strolls through the door, takes one teensy, tiny mouthful of her food and walks back to the door: Meow? [rough translation: can you let me out, please?]
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Hi! I’m Karen O’Connor, hormonally-challenged, menopausal writer, blogger, self-confessed sarcasm enthusiast, mother of 4, wife of 30 years, destroyer of souls... no, wait, that's just in the mornings...
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