A couple of months ago, an old friend, Jane, got in touch with me completely out of the blue. In one of the bizarre twist s that life likes to put on us, we discovered that we were both going through pretty much exactly the same things in our lives. The similarities were really quite spooky. We thought that it would be a great idea to set up a daily call to each other so we could share what was happening for us that day and to keep ourselves on track because one of the things we both noticed about ourselves was that we have all these great ideas, all these good intentions… and we never carry them out. Actually, that’s not true, sometimes I carry out the ideas, but most of the time, they fall by the wayside and life goes on in the same old way that it always has and before I know it, bang! There’s another year gone by and I still haven’t started that project that was such a fantastic idea.
It’s funny (both funny peculiar and funny ha-ha) how I have these great ideas that spark life in me, get me all excited, make me feel good about the future… and I don’t do anything about them. I just get on with my mundane, boring lfes, and every now and then, I take a quick squizzy over the fence into the lush, green pastures of “Wouldn’t it be nice if I could do that” without ever taking any real steps to actually climb the fence. I just walk right alongside it, dreaming about all the good things that might happen, whereas if I just climbed the bloody thing, I’d be able to caper through the heavenly emerald meadowlands eagerly beckoning me from the other side. And I wonder why life seems to be passing me by? Seriously?
Jane and I realised that this is how we both live our lives, always looking over the fence without ever climbing over it, so we thought that if we were going to break that habit, then maybe chatting to each other every day would help keep us on track.
Either that or we’d end up procrastinating together, one of the two. To be honest, it was touch-and-go which one it would be.
Fast forward a couple of months, close to a hundred phone calls, many hours of chatting about life, kids, hopes for the future, things that get in the way and all the rest of it, and here I am, running on adrenaline, not sleeping for more than 4 or 5 hours a night because I’m too excited about what’s happening in my life!
That fence of mine got climbed and I’ve been gambolling in the verdant fields of new things for the last month or so.
And this is where the habit of mine that I don’t like comes in. It’s not walking alongside the fence without climbing it. It’s climbing the fence and then falling in love with that I find on the other side. I always do this, I’m such an Ooh-Look-Shiny-New-Thing! kind of person. Whenever I take something new onboard (and it’s a regular occurrence, despite the fact that I feel like I spend my life walking along the fence), my family & friends wish me a long-suffering (but hopefully fond) farewell, knowing that I’ll be present but unavailable for a short while, as I launch myself into something head first and don’t come up for breath till it’s conquered, mastered and becoming just a tad boring. Which is where I’m at right now.
Having committed to actually having the blog be a money-making business by providing things that people not only enjoy but that also make a difference in their lives (that sounds really w*nky but you know what I mean), I set about actually putting myself out there, getting people to the website and providing people with the tools they need to support them (which I absolutely hadn’t been doing before).
And it’s working. Things are picking up speed.
I’ve found myself running faster and faster, desperately trying to keep up, all while trying to learn a million new things. At once. I don’t like to wait to become proficient at something, I like to be proficient at new things as soon as I start them. No excuses. I immerse myself in them, ignoring the rest of my life, not eating properly, not sleeping, possibly even not exercising (gasp!) until I become proficient. Interruptions to this almost vertical learning curve by way of one of my loved ones actually wanting to hold a conversation with me are greeted with a loud (and quite aggressive) “What do you want?” as they startle me out of my faraway learning place (aka another planet).
Now, I’m going to get all enlightened on you here because I’m going to tell you that I don’t really have any habits that I don’t like. That’s totally untrue and totally true at the same time. I’m trying to accept myself the way that I am, and if I do that, then I won’t have any habits that I don’t like, right? On the other hand, I irritate the crap out of myself sometimes. I’m loud, I’m tactless, I’m overly single-minded, I’m thoughtless and a gazillion other things. But you know what? One of the great things about getting older is that I don’t have the time to worry about crap like that. I’m just going to do things in a way that works for me.
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Hi! I’m Karen O’Connor, hormonally-challenged, menopausal writer, blogger, self-confessed sarcasm enthusiast, mother of 4, wife of 30 years, destroyer of souls... no, wait, that's just in the mornings...
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